


Derrick's Misery

by ElliottGrayy



Category: Grand Theft Auto IV, Grand Theft Auto Series (Video Games)
Genre: Depression, Derrick McReary the true socialist and Irish Republican, Derrick is sad, Drug Addiction, Gen, Just another sad and beautiful day in Liberty City, My boy Derrick deserves more recognition he's criminally underrated, Packie tries to make him feel okay, Tiocfaidh Ár Lá, someone give him a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:28:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElliottGrayy/pseuds/ElliottGrayy
Summary: It's another gloomy day in Liberty City, however, it doesn't make much difference in Dukes, where Derrick McReary is sitting in the backyard of the McReary residence, thinking about his sorrows and his past. He dwells upon his past, his time in Ireland, his siblings and his Ma, and all the stuff which happened in the city. Just a regular sad day for him.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 11





	Derrick's Misery

It was 2pm in Liberty City. The city wasn't very busy at this time, people relaxing in their homes, or working. The afternoon was chill, parks not too crowded, streets moderately busy. Liberty was always moving, it never stopped, no matter what happened. The working class was the heart of the city which kept it going, by whatever means, be it stealing, robbing, begging, working for 12 hours, or anything else one can think of, in order to survive.

In Dukes, the weather was gloomy, the trees in Meadows Park making the air cleaner and the atmosphere pleasant. People came here often to feel the breeze, the park in Savannah Avenue was the calmest place in Dukes. The occasional noise of the train came around from the tracks above, but it was just another reminder that the city never stopped, regardless of how the weather was.

Derrick McReary, the oldest brother of the McReary family, sat in the backyard chair, gazing at the sky and the greenery around him. He was in his own world, as usual, caught up in his thoughts. He often used this as an escape, sitting and gazing at things for a long time, being on drugs. His cold gray eyes with a hint of blue, gazed upon things, scanning them, analyzing the environment, if he was in his senses, that is. During his heroin usage, he would mostly be nodding off, murmuring things to himself, pitying himself, and experiencing deep guilt, anger episodes. _Derrick didn't have many friends, he sort of lived in his own head_ , as his youngest sister Kate once said.

Derrick had quite a miserable life and sudden changes of events, which were also very unexpected. Those events were one of the reasons why he was so miserable, and a wreck, most of the times. He often let his sadness and guilt consume him, as he felt a faint pain in his chest, tingling sensations in his hands and feet, feeling as if there was a dark cloud floating above his head, waiting to burst. It reminded him of the bad times, the bad decisions he made, the impulsive choices he picked, in order to save himself and maintain his sanity, even if that meant betraying his comrades, avoiding healthy things, confrontation, and not to mention, his serious drug abuse. It was slowly destroying him on the inside, he kept going despite knowing the damage it caused him on the regular. But it was better because it made him forget, _right?_

He felt the heroin kick in, as his mind floats, his judgement getting cloudy, his body feeling heavy. And soon, the self hatred and guilt would kick in too. He hears himself mutter, " _I'm your brother... I'm supposed to protect and take care of my family...I'm too far from being taken care of..._ ". Derrick often muttered such things to himself, in a repetitive manner when he was high. He always felt like he missed out on too much when he was away from the city, fighting for the cause in Ireland, being in the Provos. He felt like a failure for letting someone like Francis make him feel so shitty, even after he was dead. Derrick still remembers the sniper sound, as the bullet flew through Francis' head when he was sitting besides him on that bench in the small park, killing the crook on the spot, and the chaos which took place after that. And of course, how could he forget Bucky and Aiden? He had no choice but to kill them after they posed as a threat to him and his family. Sure, he wasn't a saint and admitted his mistakes, but it still bothered him during his bad days. _The things he did for survival, Christ._

He also wished he could be there more for his little brother Packie, and Kate, to protect them from their evil father, and provide them comfort and reassurance. But he was too busy fighting his own demons while being involved in the freedom struggle of Ireland, and also got caught up in his own shit later. He always had some charisma, and was compassionate about what he believed in. But that was long ago, that Derrick was gone. The Derrick which came back to Liberty City was dead on the inside, as if someone had sucked the life out of him. And he hated himself for that. A part of him wished that it would be better if the bullet had hit him instead of Francis, so he could be put out of his misery.

_‘It wouldn't make much of a difference if I were gone’_ , he thought. The family seemed to move on well after Francis died, and it would do the same if something like that happened to Derrick. Only Ma had some difficulty moving on, because Francis was her most precious son, and she believed that he 'achieved' something. Life didn't stop for anyone.’ _A burden would be lifted off of them if I won't be around anymore..’_ His mind echoed.

The older brother feels a tear rolling down his cheek, his vision getting blurry as he wipes the moisture with the back of his hand. This was just another depressive episode, and the drug doing its job. No one liked him. No one bothered if anything happened. He was just another old junkie and a failure at life, and a disappointment to his family. His mind kept repeating these things as he sighs, shaking his hands a bit, as he felt himself nod off.

Derrick could hear the faint sound of the door opening and the footsteps after that as someone familiar comes in the backyard. He feels the person look down at him, as Derrick nodded off again. He soon feels a hand on his shoulder, shaking it a little.

"Hey, Derrick. You high again?" Packie asks.

"Hm- What? Yeah yea- just...nodded off again..." the older brother responded, startling a little, sniffing a bit, his face redder than usual.

"Okay. Um, is you alright? You been crying?" Packie asks, looking at his face, the tear stains on his cheeks, eyes slightly red.

"It's no-nothing... Don't worry about me..." Derrick said, shaking his head, looking away.

"Alright, man, come inside...you don't look too well" the youngest brother offered.

"I'm dosed...I can't...I'll..think 'bout it later" he responded.

"Don't want Ma to.. see me like this again.. I've been a... disappointment to her me entire life... she doesn't want me around" Derrick added, feeling that pain in his chest again.

"It's nothing like that, man. We're all fucked up, you know it. You're me brother" Packie said and looked at him.

"Just... look after Ma and Kate... I ain't around for much long anyway... I can't stay... for too long...I don't have anything to live for now..." Derrick said, that urge to cry coming up again as he shivers from the drug in his veins.

Packie sighs, stroking his back a little as he goes back inside. He didn't have much to say to his oldest brother, apart from feeling bad for him because life didn't turn out very good for him. _The brothers were all messed up in their own ways, and were paying for their sins_ , like Ma used to say.

**Author's Note:**

> Derrick needs a hug. If I get some good feedback to this work, I'll probably write more on him, and things from his point of view. Derrick deserves so much more recognition in the GTA community, I don't understand why so many people hate him. Thank you for reading!


End file.
